Four Reasons Why It IS Okay to Be a Turtleneck Wearer Like Me (this is for all you anti-turtleneck wearing haters out there . . . yeah, Kristen, I'm talking to YOU)
1. Warmth. I am constantly cold (used to be constantly hot . . . what happened there?). My thermostat is broken or set to frozen (not sure which). Those turtlenecks I wear help me stay a little bit warmer when it's chilly outside (I guess I should say inside because we all know I don't leave my house).
2. Can you say giraffe neck? I can! I have an absurdly long neck. The pasty thing stands out (or up?) way too much. Those turtlenecks boost my self-esteem by minimizing that enormous thing!
3. Accessorize (even my sister, the Queen of accessories, can agree to this). You can use a scarf or a long, dramatic necklace (just not both at the same time) to give that turtleneck a little flavor, so you don't end up looking like your mom. (Not you, Mom! I'd love to look like you. Just ask Kristen.)
4. You like them! Or in my case, you love them deep down in your soul. Be true to who you are (even if that's a fashionless mom of three kids who dresses like she's forty instead of in her late twenties); if you like wearing 'em, sport 'em all ready.
Can't argue with that list. (Well, Kristen, you probably can.)
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