Who needs a mini van when you can drive a tampon....

Now very quickly-- for clarification purposes only-- I never had a problem with the fact that Andy had a mini van.  That only came into play when you went on and on about his sex symbol status.  The way you talked about him and how other girls fawned over him... I though he had to be sporting a Porsche and carrying a fat bankroll.  You talked about him like he was a Rockstar.  But in reality.... he was rocking a mini van.

Now you must have forgotten that Jason took over that beautiful red mini van.  Sure he didn't go to the dealership and pick it out and yes it was a necessity for him to drive that lovely beastly van but Jason did become a mini van man for a bit.

But nothing compares to the Tampon that he drove after the mini van.  That lovely white Mercury Sable Wagon with the sweet rear facing seat in the back.  You don't know class until you rode in that back seat.... facing the drivers of other cars... acting like a ten year old making weird faces at them and driving them crazy.  Now the tampon did us proud for a couple of years... we piled that full and headed to Wine on Ice one year squeezing two people in that rear seat... I rode in that seat all the way to the lake and back when we went to see Hollie at the cottage they rented on the lack last summer.  Now the car itself was ridiculous but the fact that Jason named it The Tampon was unbelievable.  He literally acted as if that car was a child he birthed himself.  He religiously called it The Tampon.... to pretty much everyone.  I thought I would die when we finally had to get rid of it a month ago and people at Tags were like "Sorry you had to get rid of the Tampon.  What is Jason going to do without it?"  One time I accidentally backed into it (not a great driver...never claimed to be) and my trailer hitch put a whole in the Tampons bumper..... you would have thought that I put a whole right in Jason's heart.  He was devastated.  He told me I ruined the value of his car... I told him I didn't think a fifteen year old station wagon had much value.  When the car finally crapped the bed I think Jason may have shed a tear or two.  Now the Tampon is just a memory....